Welcome to Twisted Thistle Fine Art! This blog will be content that I create for my followers to keep up with what is going on in the art world, encouragement, and insight into the creative process. I am so excited to share with you and connect on a creative level. My former brand was Twisted Willow Art. I love willow trees, but for me, that name just didn’t fully fit me as an artist and a person. Then, I took a trip to Scotland and found what truly fit me and where I truly belonged.

My childhood was spent in foster care from the age of 7 until I turned 18. I never really felt like I belonged anywhere. I was constantly trying to find where I fit. I didn’t feel like I belonged in my foster family, although they tried to help me belong, nor did I fit with my biological family whom I had lost a connection with for so long. I was a puzzle piece trying to fit into someone else’s puzzle and not having quite the right dimensions to click into place. I had a huge desire to feel significant to someone. To be important to my family. To be wanted. 

Then, I started learning about my ancestry. I learned that I was mostly Scottish. I learned that my great grandmother’s maiden last name was Bruce. Then, with the help and hard work of my resourceful husband, we followed the rabbit trail. We followed the genealogy through a very long line of Bruce’s all the way back to the first King of Scotland, Robert the Bruce. I learned that I was a grand daughter of King Robert! I learned that my family line was one of royalty and significance and helped change the countries of England and Scotland. 

My goal after that was to visit Scotland. So, I did. This summer my husband and I took a Scotland road trip, and it was magical! Not only the landscape, but the history. Not just random history, MY history. I felt connected. Like I belonged. Like I fit. I wasn’t trying to fit into someone else’s puzzle. Through research, connecting me to my lineage, and visiting the place that holds the beginnings of my DNA, I crafted my own puzzle, and I fit perfectly. Nothing was forced, I was where I belonged. That is not to say I will be moving to Scotland immediately, or ever. To me, belonging  just means the pieces that were missing have been found. The puzzle is not incomplete. 

Since the trip I have been doing a lot of thinking. Thinking about why I do art, about why I became a therapist, even about why I had kids. From my unhealed wounds, I determined that I wanted to be significant to someone. If my family didn’t want me, I was going to find someone who did. I was going to make myself significant to someone. So, I started learning how to help people. I started learning how to listen to the stories of others and through the telling, find healing. I still didn’t know who I was. So, I started asking, “Who am I?” I explored art, because my biological mother was an artist. I had never thought I could draw anything, much less be an artist. But, I did it anyway. I found out I actually had some skill as a creative. So, for the last 10 years, I have been working on that skill. But, I was doing it to feel significant to someone. A year ago, I started hanging in galleries and actually have sold several pieces. But a part of me was doing all of that so someone would see me. Not in a vain way, but to see my inner parts and love those parts of me. When I went to Scotland, it healed something in me. The need for significance left. Something in me said, “You’ve always been significant. You’re a human being. You have always been valuable and worthy of love.” Standing in the places my ancestors stood, walking their halls, their paths, and imagining myself there with them ended my search for significance. As that part of me shifted, I thought, “What would my creative efforts be like if I created FROM my already existing significance rather than using creativity to try to find it? What would my healing practice as a therapist look like?” 

Since I have been back, I have noticed the shift in my innermost being and that has translated into my art and my work as a healer. I notice more confidence and less frustration. I don’t feel stuck anymore. I don’t feel like my puzzle piece is all wrong for the puzzle. Everything fits, and it is glorious. 

Have you ever felt like you didn’t belong? I hope that this post reminds you that you don’t have to search for belonging. You already have it. You just have to reach inside yourself and grab it.